At first, I hesitated. For the whole week, I kept on thinking whether should I go and see her or not. When I felt sad and depressed, I really wanted to see her. But, after I felt better, I thought I should not do so. Because I afraid the same incident would be repeated although I did not even had a bit of suspicious feeling toward her. It is just I am ‘phobia’.

Furthermore, I am afraid that I would burden her and cause her a problem. I afraid that I would depend or rely on her like what that person told to me before. “You rely on me, you depend on me”. Those sentences kept on bugging in my head whenever I become closer to someone. Because of the sentences, I do not believe on my own self anymore. Truthfully, I am scared… I am really scared… 

Nevertheless, after 6 years, she is the first person whom could open my heart. She is the only one whom I could talk to. And she is the first person whom I could trust. So, if I don’t see her this time, I won’t be able to do so in the future. I have to overcome my fears. I have to change. Or else…, I would stuck in this conflict forever.