When I was in 3rd year, my senior told me that if you want to draw blood from male patient, better use green needle. They have larger blood vessel as compared to female. So, it is easier to use green needle. Besides, they are guy, they can withstand the pain. So,  I just followed their advice. I don’t really care about it. As long as I can draw the blood, it’s ok.

A few days ago, I saw one of my colleague drew blood from a patient using a blue needle. At first, I want to told him that using a green needle is better. Nevertheless, I didn’t. After he drew the blood, the patient smile to him. He told him that he didn’t feel pain at all, thus he was so happy. I was suprised listening to what he said. I never really care about it before. The next day, I tried to use the blue needle when drew the blood from the patient and I experienced the same thing of what my colleague went through. It felt so good.

Truthfully, the patient will appreciate us so much  when we try to help reducing their pain. In the process of reducing the pain, they will appreciate us much more if we don’t induce other pain to them. It is probably a small matter. But, if we are a patient, it is a blessing to us, right?

Last night I had a dream. It was a dream about professional exam which was brought forward ad hoc. The lecturers did not inform us earlier and suddenly there was an annoucement that the professional exam was going to be held immediately. Once I heard the announcement, I started to have palpitation. I got PTB case for my long case. I was able to gave a good history and physical examination. But, when the discussion arrived at the management, I got stucked. I was unable to remember any of the anti-TB except isoniazide. When the examiner asked further about the side effect of the drugs, I started to become panic and speechless. Then, I woke up from the dream.

After a while, I fall asleep again. Unfortunately the dream continued. These time the dream proceeded to the short cases. I got O&G, surgical and orthopaedic cases. I was able to perform in O&G and surgical, but not in orthopaedic. These added up to my myseries that I started to cry. I felt so frustrated and helpless. I regretted it so much that I was not prepared and always played around. Suddenly I remembered what Dr NAW told me that Muslim never make the same mistake twice. While crying, I then woke up from the sleep again.

The dream bothered me so much that I kept on waking up after that. It was so scary because I felt as if it was a real experience. Furthermore, it reminds me so much of how unprepared I am. But, do I still have the time to catch up?

Once it started to drop, it keeps on flowing away like a rain falling down. I just could not stop. Nevetheless, as it flows, it sucks out my sadness along with it. Argh…, it is very relieving. It is the best remedial when I feel so helpless. However, it also has a side effect in which the head started to aching after it. The only antidote is to get some sleep, which I’m going to do after this.

Hmm…, actually I want to sms her. But I don’t know what to write down. I don’t have any idea to use as a trigger or reason for a conversation. Or, should I just tell her directly that, “I’m sad”? I wonder what would she reply. Do I really have to bother her? I always have this kind of doubt or hesitancy. To tell the truth, I’m afraid that I would become a disturbance to her…